Si Kumbang

Tulis Tulis Tulis!

Duaaaaarrrrr! 

Seringkali seperti petir, kilatnya datang duluan lalu dentumnya belakangan. Begitulah kupikir bagaimana ide-ide baru yang muncul tanpa peduli waktu dan tempat. Entah di boarding room kala menunggu pesawat, di toilet dan duduk sambil memandang pintu atau langit-langitnya, kala ngobrol dengan orang lain dan muncul satu - dua kata kunci yang memantik, intinya bisa saja di manapun dan kapanpun. 

Namun, layaknya petir, kilat ide itu muncul tetiba, lalu baru dipikirkan kemudian dalam dentumnya. Salah satu kelemahan yang kukira dialkoni banyak orang adalah sama dengan memperlakukan petir itu, mencengangkan walau sekejap - setelah itu ya hilang begitu saja seolah tidak terjadi. Hal ini berathun-tahun saya alami, sampai ketika aku membeli buku tulis yang sebenarnya untuk mencatat poin-poin penting ketika wawancara di lapangan penelitian. 

Ada kalanya kita mengalami kegabutan  dalam teknis pelaksanaan wawancara, semisal menunggu para pejabat yang penting itu, kita terpaksa menunggu di bangku depan ruangannya, atau juga bisa di taman dan di luar gedung sama sekali. Pada waktu-waktu itulah, corat-coret di buku tulis terjadi, entah sekedar membuat doodle atau coretan tak berarti sekalipun. Dari sana, tak sengaja saya membuat daftar pertanyaan yang sering muncul di benak, kala itu seperti begini: 

kalau saya saja yang punya surat penelitian perlu waktu lama untuk bertemu pejabat, bagaimana dengan warga di sini yang memang punya hak untuk dilayani? 

Maka, terkembanglah berbagai pertanyaan-pertanyaan lain, juga tentang pengamatan apa saja yang saya lihat. Intinya, saya menjadi terpanggil kembali pada masa-masa kuliah dulu, di lapangan penelitian - dan rakus tentang rasa keingintahuan. 

Beberapa minggu lalu saya teringat dengan quotes dari Walter Benjamin : 

"The more circumspectly you delay writing down an idea, the more maturely developed it will be on surrendering itself. Speech conquers thought, but writing commands it"

Dan memang tepat saya pikir sabda dari Walter Benjamin itu, sekian lama perbincangan dan diskusi tanpa adanya tindak lanjut penulisan membuat ide-ide itu perlahan memudar. Belum lagi ketika bicara dengan lawan diskusi yang notebene punya tabiat buruk seperti mencuri ide (tapi ini debatable sebab memang harus saya akui, omongan tanpa tulisan macam ikan di sungai, bisa ditangkap siapa saja). Berulang kali hal tersebut saya alami, dan saat ini kiranya adalah waktu yang tepat sekalipun sudah terlambat, untuk memulai menulis ide apapun yang menyambar seperti kilat itu, agar dentumnya tetap dapat saya rasakan-dengar, dengan membaca dari tiap huruf yang saya tulis. 

Dan semua ini tidak butuh modal banyak, punya handphone, laptop, atau mungkin hanya pena dan buku tulis? itu sudah cukup. Namun hal yang secara implisit dari perkataan Walter Benjamin itu perlu digaris-bawahi, bahwa soal menulis gagasan itu, tidak hanya berhenti pada saat itu juga, namun perlu follow-up  dengan membaca dan bila perlu menyediliki lebih dalam agar memeroleh revelation. 

Tulis! Tulis! dan Tulis! itu saja yang perlu dilakukan saat ini, entah berguna saat ini atau nanti di kemudian hari, lebih baik untuk mendokumentasikan itu semua dalam tulisan. Karena memang seperti kata penulis satu ini : 

Anthropological fieldwork is so much like writing a novel. You don't know what the hell is going on - Lily King

Realities make no sense in this novel

My field note, this magical novel, coffee, and Kenari nuts. It was taken in Ternate Island, 21.09.2021
Killing Commendatore - Haruki Murakami
Random House US - 2019

When fiction is strong enough to alter the non-fiction world

It was three years ago (time flies!) when I bought this novel from my friend. For context, I was already familiar with Murakami's work in the past, a fanboy you might say. I knew that most of Murakami's novels or short stories were magical or surreal, but this novel went further. 

This novel reminded me of his earlier novel entitled "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles". Both share the same nuance - sort of. Both have a main character of a man in his 30s who has "problems" in his family. I won't go into the similarities or differences, but it is interesting to see how the background of the main character in both or in other Murakami novels.

I myself, also a man in my 30s, and although I don't relate to the plot of the novel, there are little things that are related. For example, the anxiety to find a job, or at a time when work is boring and you need to look for different alternatives to enjoy a harmonious life. It is at this intersection that the magical world appears in different episodes of life. Now this is interesting.

I read this novel in different places, five provinces in about a month. Transit from airport to airport became the right space and time to read this book, as well as on the plane. Seeing people in different public places made me think about the story in this novel.

A portrait painter, a man in his thirties, finds his marriage at an end when his wife files for divorce. 'Playing around' is the main reason, and during the man's journey of seclusion in a small town, he meets a young girl whom he imagines to be his child. It's a strange thing, and it becomes even stranger when the imaginary characters in the Commander's play materialize as hallucinations or inexplicable realities.

I finished reading the novel in a well-known hotel on the island of Ternate, which has an old architecture that suggests an ideal tropical place for travelers or perhaps people from the West. I imagined the hotel to be identical to one of the buildings Murakami describes in the novel. When fiction is so strong, it can change the life of non-fiction, or what we call reality. But is this reality nonfiction, or is it a projection of fiction? Aren't buildings and their architecture born of the imagination of their creators?

In the various cities I've mentioned before, I've had some strange experiences. Which to me and the few people who were with me when they happened: they were real. I'm not going to tell you about this strange experience. But it was so strange that I asked the person next to me who also experienced it, "Did this really happen? He nodded and replied softly: Yes. And neither of us knew what or why that was.

One thing is for sure, for me, good writing is able to provoke its readers to at least think or even act. And that's what makes this novel easily the best novel in my opinion.

After I finished reading this novel, I poured out the strange feelings from reading it by writing some poems and short stories. I was quite satisfied with the poems and short stories I made. And it's a good sign that Murakami managed to provoke me in a strange and magical way.

As the reviewers listed on the book's cover said, this novel is indeed magical. This novel is worth reading once in your life, it's just that I suggest that you really enjoy reading it and take your time. This novel is quite thick and the story is long, also with a rather slow pacing, maybe that's what makes the story stick in your mind and even be projected onto thoughts and actions. You just have to take your time and read it without rushing.